“Parenting, Barbershop-style” by Nkosi Ife Bandele

First of all, lemme say that Big Ted’s my man. He always gives me a tight cut, and he’s cool, you know, funny. Got that educated-like slang. (Apparently he did a lot of reading in the joint . . .)

“Death Leaves the Seat Up” by Bill Landauer

“I want to let you both know, Mr. and Mrs. Evighet, that what happens in this office remains here, okay? You can say anything. Think of this as a sanctuary. Mrs. Evighet—may I call you Rebecca?”

“Becky.”

“And Mr. Evighet, I’m a little unclear on your first—”

“THE YAWNING INFINITE IS MY PLAYGROUND, THE SEAS BUT A DROP IN THE FOREVER THAT IS—”

“Bob, you promised! . . .”

“To Lie and Toke in LA” by Michael Estrin

The first time I bought weed in Los Angeles, I listened to—and talked about—vintage synthesizers for hours. I was high . . .

“Synchronicity Two” by Chuck Nwoke

“I’m night-weaning Emeka,” my wife Anna alerted me when I met her in the park after a run . . .

“Taking the Cyclone” by Howard Gimple

Kelleher ran towards Nathan’s, Coney Island’s legendary wiener wonderland. The Ukrainian’s final fetid breath was still stinging his nostrils . . .

“Tar” by Scott Kaiser

10:00 a.m.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah! Ummm, this will work . . . I’m sure I can quit this time,” muttered Steve under his quickening breath while rapidly striking his index finger against the table before him.

“Here come the temple spasms, Steve . . .”

“Bowling” by John Jeremiah

In 1965 we were just short of driving age. Our mode of locomotion was hitchhiking . . .

“Dipshit” by Scott Scheible

“Hardest thing you’ll ever do in your life. Mental equivalent of hog-tying the meanest steer this side of Odessa . . .”